Get Out Of Your Own Way

Making space in your writing life for the possibility of joy

Photo by Diego Catto on Unsplash

My latest novel ANIMAL INSTINCT is about a woman rediscovering her desire in midlife — it’s been called a best book of the year by NPR, Oprah Daily, and more. You can order it here. And hey, if you do get a copy, DM me your receipt and I’ll comp you a paid subscription to this very newsletter, Writing on the Verge (this gives you access to alllll the archives, which otherwise get paywalled after a month) ✨✨✨✨✨

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I like to tell people that I hate fun, mostly because I think that’s fun to say. I’m not totally kidding, though. Many things that are meant to be “fun” — board games, for example, or airy reality television shows, or amusement parks — make me want to scream. Not in a fun way.

What interests me more is joy. If fun is like cotton candy, joy is like an impossible burger and a martini and fries AND a salad because joy doesn’t make you choose like upscale bistros do. Joy nourishes. It’s satisfying. It’s less about the shifting weather of a mood, and more about a livable climate of connection and contentment. There’s meaning in it, is what I’m saying, not just the emotional equivalent of sugar.

When I was an editor at a personal development publication, I once pitched a piece about the rise of Instagram Museums. You know the ones, those bright, photogenic, fizzy pop-ups that charge $50 for a cute photo op. The real truth of the piece was meant to be that we have lost track of what fun even is, and instead of seeking experiences that will feed our brains, our souls even (like spending time in nature, seeing great art, connecting with our friends yes even the ones who suck at the internet), we yearn for Proof That We’ve Had Fun. We want to show people, including ourselves, that Fun was Had, so that we can have some quantitative data proving that we are living our lives correctly. Look how many likes!

The publication didn’t end up running the piece, in part because let’s face it, my concept was sort dickish, and also because then the pandemic shut down even said Experiences.